I have to run 4 one mile intervals pushing a double stroller with two “littles” on board.
Start time: 9:50 am.
Temperature: 89 degrees
35 + days of 100 degree temperatures or higher in ATX
Once the two “littles” are safely secured in their car seats, we head out. The car ride is supposed to be my time to mentally prepare myself for today’s run. I’m hoping for quiet contemplation. It is not to be. I find myself screaming unkind names at pokey drivers on MOPAC. Next, I find myself in a hostage takeover of my phone by my five year old who wants to listen to “Trolls” and “Sing” soundtracks. I can’t listen to those soundtracks one more time without going POSTAL!
Quickly the five year old starts with the; “Are we almost there? Why is it taking too long? Why won’t Olivia stop screaming? Will (so and so) be there?" ENOUGH ALREADY!!! I try to use this time as an opportunity to hydrate and fuel my body. This consists of 20 oz of coffee and leftover waffles.
Once we arrive at the park, I load the girls into the double “Bob,” stroller, with our snack cups, four water bottles, sunscreen, diapers/wipes, and we are off.
After a 400 meter warm up I think, “This isn’t going to be too bad. Four miles will go by fast. I just have to make it through the first two, and it’s all downhill. I’m going to rock this work out, because I rock!!! I’m Super Woman, I’m a BAMR, (Bad A** Mother Runner!)”
First mile: Before I even have a chance to start, there’s a meltdown. Clearly my 5 yr. old thinks she has power over what music I get to listen to. I mean, I am the one running, so I should be able to listen to whatever music I want, Right? Wrong!!!! Obviously” Jay Z” and “Rage against the Machine” take a back seat to “SING.” Really? I’ve listened to that sound track 100 times already, TODAY! Do I really have to listen to it again? Yes, clearly the answer is yes. Fine!!! If losing this battle means I can run a flipping mile in peace, so be it. It’s “SING” for the win.
400 meter recovery: That wasn’t so bad. One mile down three to go. The girls are content, “SING” is playing, and snacks are being eaten. All is right with the world.
Second mile: I’m going to bust this out in under eight minutes. No problem, that last mile had a slight incline, so this mile will be all downhill, against the wind, with no shade, in 90 degree heat in the middle of summer in Texas. I got this!!! Right!!???
400 meter recovery: Man that was harder than I thought. I hate running. I hate training. I hate summer. I hate the sun. I hate the “SING” soundtrack. I hate that I only have 400 meters to recover. Why can’t I just have a full half mile to recover? Who wrote this stupid training schedule anyway?
Why do I have to do 4 one mile intervals? I think I’m just doing three. I mean it’s the middle off the summer, I’m pushing an extra 100 pounds, and there’s no shade in this neighborhood. NO WHERE!!!, I’ve looked. Ok, it’s over. I’m just doing three miles.
Third mile: The “SING” sound track is over, FINALLY! I get to listen to my jams. This is going to be the best mile ever. I’ve got my music and I’m in my groove. I’m going to rock this out and chill in the pool. I love life and I love running. This training program is not that bad, as long as I modify it to my liking, right? I mean, no one will know. HEHEHE (inset evil laugh)
400 meter recovery: Fine, I’ll do 4 miles, just one more. I mean, if I don’t, run the last mile, I’ll be lying to myself, cheating my training schedule. I’m not a liar or a cheat. Let me hydrate, pop a piece of gum, and I’ll be on my merry way!!!
Last mile: 300 meters in and it’s harder than I thought. I need a drink, I need to stop, I NEED it to not be so HOT! I only have a little over half a mile to go. At the 500 meter mark, Olivia throws her snack cup. We’ve already lost one this week, so I have to stop my run for the 100th time. Pick up the snack cup. Start running even though O is now throwing a fit. One shoe down, the second shoe’s down the sewer. I have to stop for the 101st time to pick up a single shoe.
200 meters to go, I’m good, I got this, I am Super Woman!!! I just have to make it to the next stop sign, nothing can stop me now. 100 meters, only 10 more seconds; look at me, I’m FLYING!!
My last 400 meter recovery; I want to walk, but I can’t, it will affect my average pace. Look at me, (checking my average pace) I’m fast, I’m strong, I’m awesome! I CAN DO ANYTHING!
“I am woman, hear me ROAR!”
Awe, now it’s time to cool off in the pool!!